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So Apropos
Saw death on a sunny snowFor every life, forego the parable. Seek the light, my knees are cold. (Running home, running home) Go find another lover; To bring and- to string along. With all your lies, you're still very lovable. I toured the light, so many foreign roads For Emma, forever ago. |
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about art.
Art is what you can get away with.
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bridget.carine. divinia. jieyang. gabby. michelle. monica. muk. patricia. sara. wendy. PLAYLIST twitter
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
Irksome
I guess if it were possible, I would be less distressed, but only through personal choices. After all, no one would choose to feel this crap. The world seems oppressive in it's choice of challenges. Then again, challenges were never meant to be liberating, as strength does not come from having nothing to think of. Time alone can tell what is to appear, and for now, I can only choose to be stronger, to be wiser, and to do what I believe is right. I wish more than anything immediate happiness for myself and my loved ones, but if it were not possible, I would have to fight for what is, even if wrought with perilous choices. I would fight for my right to love. It does not matter that people do not agree with me, and it does not matter that they think themselves wiser than I on choices of my own happiness. But it is clear to those who know me what has been best and true for me. This who cause me the greatest unhappiness are those who chose to dictate inconsiderably and judgmentally. I fear that the world would be full of them, and even those with best characters would be fraught with such flaws. I cannot escape the judgements of others, but I can turn myself cold to them. It has hurt me to be so naive as to believe the best of others, and I am sick and tired to doing so. I would rather be jaded than hurt once more. I know who I can trust and whom it is that understands me best, and while I once believed that I needed to justify my emotions and actions, I now no longer do. I'm tired of being nice, sweet, or anything pleasant that people may have once said of me, because it gives those people liberties to abuse and make use of me. No more. Feel free to judge me in any way you like. I'd tell you to fuck off and get a life. I have lost my trust in many people I know. I have lost faith in people I once believed had my best interest in mind. And for now, I will be more defensive than ever. To my dearest and true friends, I am sorry. I am not as strong as I would like to be, and I sometimes give way to sadness and isolation. I would love to learn to be the truest friend, but for now I am not sure if I'd dare to be one. Not really. And thank you, spence, for never giving up on me. |