one to another to the next


I never smoke. It is the line I draw around myself, the boundary that I set to keep myself sane. Never sleep with a stranger. Never post personal cam-whore photos on the internet. Never wear black tights with big Tshirts in Singapore. Never smoke.

But the idea of smoking has always been a romantic one. The instantaneous flicker of a flame, the smell of something burning, fingers tugging at something smooth, small and slim. And lips, either red, or cracked, or pale and thin; the brim of sophistication, touching paper with the slightest kiss -

Breathing in, you can almost see the swirls of smoke, filling pockets in lungs, then being caught in that momentary stasis - the burning, the tainting of blood - you close your eyes in a second of complete euphoria, satisfaction, nirvana between your teeth - and then the exhale. Plumes of smoke rise to the air, and everything for a second looks murky and dark.

Before you take another drag.

Of course the reality far undermines the idea, the dream-like realm of books and movies, a minute's action drawn out to ten. Then again, everything looks hot in slow-motion.