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So Apropos
Saw death on a sunny snowFor every life, forego the parable. Seek the light, my knees are cold. (Running home, running home) Go find another lover; To bring and- to string along. With all your lies, you're still very lovable. I toured the light, so many foreign roads For Emma, forever ago. |
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about art.
Art is what you can get away with.
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bridget.carine. divinia. jieyang. gabby. michelle. monica. muk. patricia. sara. wendy. PLAYLIST twitter
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
FATHERS vs EXAMS
Something I don't get about my dad. When I was young, he spent very little time at home. I mean, that wasn't his fault, but when you don't have a mom, not having a dad around might as well make you an orphan. No, I don't mean that. I had many people around for me when I needed them, and having awesome people like them makes me really privileged, and not in the spoilt pampered way. Anyway, the point is that I hardly had a father around, and even when he retired he hardly stayed in one place (mostly because he didn't like it here), so he moved to china. Because of that I got used to him not being around. But now and then he likes to come back to check up on me, like good fathers should. But since he was hardly around when I was growing up he hardly knows me, yet tries to act like he knows whats best for me. And when you're almost twenty and he still does it, its a little unnerving. Especially when I made it out fine without him around. A trend I've noticed, is that he only stays for my exams. I mean, he drops by now and then to run errands, to pay his bills and settle whatever business affairs he still has, but he's really ever there for me during my week(s) of exams. And I don't understand why. Especially when my exam week is the week when I have the least time for him, even if he demands my attention. When I have my exams, I always have a plan of action in mind, and he's highly disruptive, which really stresses me out. In addition, he likes to annoy me about coming home late, even when I was in school studying? Imagine this: Father: What time did you reach home last night? Me: Eh... 9? Father: NO! I walked into your room at 9 and it was all dark. Where were were you last night? Me: I was in school...and I DID come back at 9. I finished my exam at 7, ate dinner, and took a bus back. Father: What, playing with your friends? (yes, he uses the word "playing") Me: No. I was having my exam. Then I had dinner and came home. Father: Oh.... *silence* So what time did your exam end today? Me: 7pm. Father: HUH? so late? Me: Yes. Then I ate dinner until 8 and took a bus and reached home at 9. (getting annoyed) Father: Oh.... *silence* so what time is your exam tomorrow. Me: 5pm. Father: Oh. So what time will it end? Me: 7. Father: So what time will you be back? Me: 9. =.= Yeah. Excruciating. Like I'll be out "playing" with my friends when I have exams going on. Thanks for the trust dad. I used to think that I got annoyed because he had no trust in me. But its more like he has no common sense. Or he thinks I have no common sense and priority in life. "Don't play so many computer games, do your homework." "I'm not playing games, I need my laptop to do my work." "Oh." Somehow the idea that my dad is around plus my exams are ongoing always makes my exams doubly stressful =.= OH and today he said something strange. Today we were in the dining room, and I lay on the dining room table cause I was sleepy. And this was our conversation. Father: why? very upset is it? (in chinese, he said 心里很難受). Me: no, I'm just tired. Slept late last night. Father: Hmm? Too much on your mind is it? Me:...... NO. I was studying. For my exam today? Father: Oh. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM. Sorry for the long rant, but alot of things do not compute. Gah. I should just sleep and forget about it. And ignore the jiggling of the doorknob by my father trying to get into my room to check if I'm at home. Yeah, you're the reason why I always lock my door at night, dad. The lights and aircon are on, try knocking? |