|
So Apropos
Saw death on a sunny snowFor every life, forego the parable. Seek the light, my knees are cold. (Running home, running home) Go find another lover; To bring and- to string along. With all your lies, you're still very lovable. I toured the light, so many foreign roads For Emma, forever ago. |
|
|
about art.
Art is what you can get away with.
tagboard
affiliates
bridget.carine. divinia. jieyang. gabby. michelle. monica. muk. patricia. sara. wendy. PLAYLIST twitter
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
converse all star lite
I know I don't wear chucks anymore, but....   So pretty. Sigh. talk down my walls
And as always, it never pays to get angry. It gets lonely in anger.I think people are starting to get annoyed at me talking about the Singapore Writers Festival. I bet Neil Gaiman's in some pub kilometres from my place, downing a few beers because he's still jet lagged or something. Yet I'm stuck at home, and the strangest things are going through my mind. Its like all of the frustration of missing out on Singapore Writers Festival and this year's Nanowrimo, all I think about is Babycakes. Improbable, grotesque and completely and utterly absurd. And my room is so cold I'd love to sleep in it. You're ruining me With secrets and gestures and looks With sonnets from second-hand books Playing the chords in me nobody knew how to play It fits in your hand like water in rain It unlocks our two different selves And shows we are the same You're breaking into my heart And I'm letting you Its a torrent, or a concoction of one, filled with the most horrific and unbearable emotion. Such horrible people, with such innocent victims. I wish I could tell you in your face how much I hate you and your despicable actions. But you're not important. He's worth more than your stone heart will ever weigh out to be. And by God, if he's lost to all, placing the blame on you would be too much of an understatement. He means so much more than you've ever been able to see, and I swear if you go near him or any of my loved ones, I'll personally wring your neck. You, sir, can go to Hell. bored and cryptic
HISTORIAN, n. A broad-gauge gossip.I guess all this is getting to me. Its all work and no play for jane. I've realized my addiction of sleeping. I sleep things off. I predict an addiction to sleeping pills in the future. Okay, enough with the cryptic. Point is all the sleeping today has given me a headache, and the headache I had before still hasn't gone away. Its annoying and irritating. I wish I had a warm belly to cuddle up to. I miss you. OH, and on a slightly related issue, FACEBOOK is ah-meh-zing! I love blogging in question marks(: Drives all my stalker friends mad (and yes, I mean you Joel).  closing in, shutting out, sinking up. hey beautiful!
Haha mostly I'm doing this because I said I would. Yesterday was spent with stace. haha or CRATE? which? or CARTEL? Haha anyway, was made to go all the way to this strange unknown place in the northeast (aka Sengkang) to celebrate tanya's one month belated birthday, with an epic fail because she has no facial expressions whatsoever. But SHAMELESSLY we sang the birthday song in Subway and settled for a hearty breakfast. After which we went to some stranger place further in the northeast to study, and I took my first LRT! Photos from the past few days are all on facebook, grad day AND yesterday, but I just want to show you the picture that made me laugh for ages.  I'm using it as a pick-me-up now for everytime I study History, to remind me how interesting history/studying can be. On another note, I watched so much How I Met Your Mother yesterday, that I'm super in love with this song. And on a completely completely separate note, I watched 500 days of Summer on Saturday, and OF ALL THE OBSCURE INDIE SONGS, they had to choose There is a light that never goes out by The Smiths? Best Soundtrack ever. The Smiths, REGINA SPEKTOR, FEIST, SIMON AND GARFUNKEL. Oh, and it is definitely a must watch(: you know that I could use somebody
And... we graduated.I guess when everyone had began to feel the absolution of the end of our life in CJC, some feeling sad(?) about leaving, I was a little numb to it. Bored even. Its a little hard to explain how I'm feeling about it now, but its like a recollection of my two years in CJC. Not happiness, not sadness, nor any other absolute emotion. I remember the high expectations I had for that place, but being plunged into it - I had initially lost myself to the voices louder than my own. I had broken and lost, but later found. And for finding I am grateful. For friends, I am grateful. And even if many people don't realize, the truth is that I am rebuilding my life, bit by bit. I'm reconstructing myself, moulding and reforming like clay, and what I used to be is slowly disappearing, as people who had known what I was slowly disappear into their own lives. I am proud, yes. What spurred these thoughts were this piece of yellow paper from last year, a letter written to myself. And though it didn't seem to say much, it spoke loudly to me. I spoke of transformation, of moving on. But it also spoke of strangeness, of alienation from who I was, and of that I am torn between disgust in myself or pride. Being a stranger to myself is a terrifying thing, and while I had struggled to become this thing I am today, the pros and cons of this situation and teetering on a point. I'll miss some things. I await others. I know this post is probably confusing some, but for an occasional piece of personal self, I thought this may be ambiguous enough ;) Like a code I know you can understand. And you is... well... whoever I want you to be. Lets just say that, when you hit rock bottom, the hardest thing to do is to get back up. But if you never give up, I swear to you, you'll get there. photographyspam
           There are some things I do when I try to distract myself from thinking too much. This is one of them. ♥weheartit.com ♥fashionphotographyblog.com ♥lelove.blogspot.com ♥vanityfair.com ♥benita And the other, imageless activities? Reading up GP blogs. I swear they're amazing. Latest intellectual obsession? THE HEDONISTIC THREADMILL. The paradoxical flaw in the culture of excess. remember thy name
PERSEVERANCE, n. A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success."Persevere, persevere!" cry the homilists all, Themselves, day and night, persevering to bawl. "Remember the fable of tortoise and hare — The one at the goal while the other is — where?" Why, back there in Dreamland, renewing his lease Of life, all his muscles preserving the peace, The goal and the rival forgotten alike, And the long fatigue of the needless hike. His spirit a-squat in the grass and the dew Of the dogless Land beyond the Stew, He sleeps, like a saint in a holy place, A winner of all that is good in a race. —Sukker Uffro The Devil's Dictionary. From the internet version since someone's borrowed my hardcopy. Another song for yah.
Seems like the only thing I wanna blog about now is music. And why not? No, this is by far not a reflection of my mindset. Far from the same serenity and yearning. But it calms me down, and keeps me going. I love damien rice's voice. Its true, its honest, and its expressive. But its virtually all I've been listening to. And all of a sudden, when I went to study at swirl yesterday, IT WAS ALL IT PLAYED. The same 7-ish songs over and over and over again for the many hours I was there. But thank god it played the so so songs. Nothing beats The Blower's Daughter. Or Rootless Tree (which they can never play in Swirl, thank god). And listening to this song reminds me of being in Japan with Clar and Celestine; Clar and I sitting on her hotel bed, listening to this song, or the talks we three have late at night before we go to sleep. I miss those times. But I think I'm a bit too much of a homebug to travel so much. So to all those normal Singaporeans who want to get off this island - I'm sorry, but I'm perfectly comfortable right here Out of peaceful reflective requiem to focused resolve. Time to studehh. stronger
Studying for History now. Ever since after the econs mock exam, I've had Ms Teo's face in my mind for ages. Siiiiighhh.So here's for those history muggers too! I can't wait much longer |