walk out the door, leave you on the floor

about art.

Art is what you can get away with.

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affiliates

bridget.
carine.
divinia.
jieyang.
gabby.
michelle.
monica.
muk.
patricia.
sara.
wendy.

PLAYLIST

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credits

Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed
Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon.

celebrity distraction II

Josh Chen this is all your fault. I can't get that amazing voice out of my head.

with a little help...

Prelims here! Blog goes into hibernation. So say byebye! (:

I'll get by-

Birthday's over! My friends and family really know how to make a girl feel loved(: Thank you again thank you(:

Ohhh, and this silly person! Who's going to Genting to party while I'm prelim-ing ):

♥

lament del student

Wake me up when the war is over,
when mouths and eyes are filled with clover;
Wake me up when the battle's through,
when adversaries left are few.
Wake me up when the hardship's ending,
when heaven's light is fast descending;
Wake me up when the day is done-
the battle's lost, no victories won.

-me.

day of our lives

I. The good thing about being sick is that it gives you the chance to take these wonderful naps in the middle of the day.
II. The bad thing about being sick is that sunlight gives you a headache. (How vampy.)
III. The other bad thing is that your throat feels like a damp piece of cardboard pushed into a sausage skin lined with salt. Eurgh.
IV. I finally learnt what History Readings mean to History lesser-enthusiasts-H2 History students now!
V. I got that Kelly Clarkson song stuck in my head because of that awesome drummer from shane's phone.

11mths3days

ah-chew

Shiiiiiiiiit I think I have a flu..... ):

(Thank you guys yesterday for a super fun day! I'm fluish outside, but I'm little miss sunshine inside(: )

f-lame it.

Haha okay I am a horrible student, because in a day dedicated to just studying (aside from my half and hour town errand, which I almost missed dinner for), I blogged three times! This is my third post, because I wanted to put this photo up. I dunno why no one seems to like this, but I love fisheye lense photos! I think its super cute.
Funny story in this photo, we suppose to squish and do something, and I had no idea what to do. I dunno why it struck me to, but I just had the impression that arm over shoulder was the way to go.

Me: Ehh, Aaron, you don't mind if I put my arm here do you?
Aaron: Ehhh no, its okay. Mind if I....
Me: Oh no, no its okay! *awkward*

I don't even remember why it was so awkward, but when I looked at the photo (here it is again):

OH MY GIDDYNESS I'm the only one doing it! Lol I know its a super small thing and I swear I have no idea why I found that so funny, but I couldn't stop laughing for awhile. Maybe I'll pull out my school photos for my kids to see, and they'll be asking why mommy's the only enthusiastic person there who wanted to "get closer" to my class.

Well, at least we're all super happy, despite being teacherless and 14 strong.

I think I'm so deprived, I'm starting to see little funny things everywhere. Call it my "survival mechanism". Offred has her dreamscape, and I have my... laughscape. *dies*

I think I better just get back to work, before Woodbridge reads my blog and comes for me.

my other distractions

(Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting, Romeo and Juliet)

(Tristan Prettyman and Jason Mraz, Shy that Way)

(Alex and Kim Meraz -
Alex is part of the wolfpack in New Moon)

(This one is to show that I AM studying.
Clinton, Arafat, Rabin. Oslo Accords)

my celebrity distraction

down will come baby, cradle and all

My niece Benita's first attempt to sit up on her own! Sitting isn't actually very easy (lol she seems to be panicking at the end).

Sorry about the Baby-mania! But she really is one of the constant lights in my life, kinda cheers me up after a long day when I get home, and she chuckles at me or tugs at my finger...

frag-meant mind

The Hacker's Conquest.

In three words, I can sum up everything I know about life: it goes on.-Robert Frost

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.-Buddha

Wisest is she who knows she does not know. -Jostein Gaarder

Man doth not yield him to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will. -Edgar Allen Poe

The best way out is always through. -Robert Frost

Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose--
a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye. -Mary Shelley

True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness. -Albert Einstein

nuff'

take a trip to the gratitude cafe

Life as we remember it.

Look for something that keeps you going.

like hell I care what they think

ahahahahaha (:

the woes of being an arts student

ASEAN, oh ASEAN, how you haunt me, and taunt me!
Your readings do wrought me like Pallas' bust (size),
Whirling and twirling like that Raven's loud cawing
and my sanity stays solid - Never, Nevermore!

Oh please stop the yaking, poor Offred is wrecking
a drill in my skull for her dreamscape parade
reality does fade and it builds and it fades
and my mind in the page hopes - please! Nevermore!

But, when the mania stops, and I collapse and I flop,
my heart makes a drop, as there are no As -
Life's all work and no play, but to not work all day...
Come the end of the day - That's it. Nothing more.

Sigh.
In the desert there are no signs that say, Thou shalt not eat stones. I guess its time to start eating.

do you find me handsome?

Most true is it that 'beauty is in the eye of the gazer.' My master's colorless, olive face, square, massive brow, broad and jetty eyebrows, deep eyes, strong features, firm, grim mouth,--all energy, decision, will,--were not beautiful, according to rule; but they were more than beautiful to me: they were full of an interest, an influence that quite mastered me,--that took my feelings from my own power and fettered them in his. I had not intended to love him: the reader knows I had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now, at the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously revived, green and strong! He made me love him without looking at me.

- Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

6am and I'm still awake... shit

"No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance; it is by choice."

Gabby's post really touched me. I guess at this really crucial time of our life, when we're burdened by so many responsibilities and so many overwhelming emotions, we do need to take a moment to reflect on the ones we love. They say that it is easy to take love for granted. I think its easy to forget the value of our love, and the love given to us. I've learnt over the years that the world is filled with dishonesty, selfishness and greed, and this has taught me to take a chance for every person I love. I guess I forget that people take a chance when they love me.

For friends and family that has stuck by me through my ups and downs (and really fucking downs), you are the most precious thing in my life, you have supported me when I haven't been supporting you, you have persevered when I've been too busy to spend time. I may not be best at being a friend, but I have never stopped loving every one of you. But I thank you, so much, for staying at my side.

And I guess I hardly write about you outrightly on this blog, but - Spence. I don't know how you put up with me, or manage to tranform me into something even I can see worth loving. You held me together when I broke down, you reached out for me when I was isolated. I tell you so often I love you. I've hardly told you that from the beginning, you were already the best friend anyone could ask for. Hell if I ever saw this day coming! And while you held a part of my heart before (as all my closest friends do), I'm glad I got a chance to let it grow.

And I am so lucky, to be in love with one of my best friends. (Because Clar doesn't bend that way. LOL)

Ok, super cheesy. But that's the super thing about Mraz. He DOES bend that way.

After coming home from a rather eventful evening with the Chicken Rice Master (S), I actually FELL ASLEEP. That was at about 8am, and then I woke up for about half an hour before I slept again? So here I am, drowsy person number 1, going to run in about a little over an hour later?

In other news, my sister Jerrica's coming back on Sunday! So there goes most of my time next week. Not that I mind. Lol.

today is friday the fourteenth

Romance

Romance, who loves to nod and sing
With drowsy head and folded wing
Among the green leaves as they shake
Far down within some shadowy lake,
To me a painted paroquet
Hath been—most familiar bird—
Taught me my alphabet to say,
To lisp my very earliest word
While in the wild wood I did lie,
A child—with a most knowing eye.

Of late, eternal condor years
So shake the very Heaven on high
With tumult as they thunder by,
I have no time for idle cares
Through gazing on the unquiet sky;
And when an hour with calmer wings
Its down upon my spirit flings,
That little time with lyre and rhyme
To while away—forbidden things—
My heart would feel to be a crime
Unless it trembled with the strings.

-Edgar Allen Poe

in the middle of summer, winter, wummer, swinter

So tired of studying.

never again.

well... yesterday was dramatic. (Blood Donation LOL.)

I think being tired takes a toll on everything. Its really prissy.
): But we can work it out... can't we?

“Out of damp and gloomy days, out of solitude, out of loveless words directed at us, conclusions grow up in us like fungus: one morning they are there, we know not how, and they gaze upon us, morose and gray. Woe to the thinker who is not the gardener but only the soil of the plants that grow in him.”

-Friedrich Nietzsche

P.S. I love you. So much.

Vanity = a sin?

I love Vanity Fair's photography. Its just amazing.

Here's a few I plucked out from the Beach collection, from their website. The cleaner, more innocent ones. But the whole series is just amazing. Except the Jonas Bros (but I may be biased on that one).

The less innocent one would probably be the one with Paris Hilton. But heck, its just one boob.

what I dream about at night

You could say I'm afraid. Afraid of myself, my lies, my jokes, my fears. Moreso, you could say that I'm afraid of what I could do, what I could stand to lose.

I forget sometimes that this isn't just about my future. Its about ours. Its about a larger responsibility, beyond parties and first clubbing experiences, beyond who's with who in which school, beyond what I get to wear tomorrows and tomorrows after. Its about accepting responsibility, accepting that less is more, that comfort is an illusion, that idealism can one day die, and success take hold. Its the cold, harsh, cruel side of the world, dark and dim and dull. It is that - if we fail, if we do not place our courage in its sticking place, we just fail. No cushions, no dignity, no excuses for mistakes. If we fail, we accept the mediocre and the meagre as ours to claim. We claim the emptiness, and a lifetime of regretting missed opportunities, of chances we had, but childishly did not take, as our own. It is of knowing what our best is, but being too stubborn to prove it. Because we can live with that, being average.

But I can't live without you. I just can't.

I refuse to. And I refuse to be forgotten, to be wiped away like chalk on stone. I refuse to regret. I refuse to refuse to live. I refuse to throw away a chance to better our life together. I'm working for you too.

I ask a lot of myself sometimes. But perhaps I speak the truth. 'Perhaps' lingers in the wind like a flag waiting to be torn.

everything will be fine in no time at all

Caught in the courses, we seem to be lapsed into the ripples and creases of what we believed were. What I was, what was destined, written into a wrist like a perverse dream, now faded. Mists and twists and wrists, crumbling into tales and trails into what needs to be, what has to be forgotten. But love and loved ones forgone, like my pathetic attempts to grab hold to guttered history.

But I know better now. I'm hiding out for a better day. What's drawn out brings hope, which I have yet learnt to understand.

blow, baby, blow!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABBY!

(There can only be one Gabby, and I'm glad I know you.)

Haha I was so tempted to draw bunny ears on this photo when I saw it. So cute at first look, but subsequently... *ahem* very fierce.

In other news, National Day Celebration in school was a little more fun than expected. Admittingly, building that Balloon Flag was rather satisfying, especially after it was 'raised' (the Five Stars Arising thing was just lame), and things got a bit festive. Guitar Hero-ing at Shane's was fun, except I lost my voice for a moment, probably because of all the salty food I've been eating all week. That's it! No more!

(Choir singing!)

(Because we need scouts to guard our precious, odd-shaped balloons.)

Something that I have no photos for sadly, is clar's dance concert tonight at ACS(I). But it was really great! Very... multi-cultural. She cut her bangs again! I'm so amused that we look like the way we were when we first came into SCGS Sec, but I have to admit clar's one of the few Asian girls I've seen that can really pull off the bangs look well. Her dancing has really improved too! I'm so proud of her(:

And its time to sleep. Good thing I've finished my homework. hehe.

Shoop shoop.

I still can't get over this song!

Wish I was there too.

I wanna be a Coldplay puppet. Dance on MTV, then travel the world.
Oh, plus I'd look hot.
But nooo, I'm here writing History Outlines and studying for Alevels. Coldplay, take me with you!

Ok, I promised myself I'd only blog once today. I'm too tired to waste my energy on things I want to do.

you'll love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD9XP0Ane8U

This is me. And you've changed me. For good.
The scariest thing is that time will go in reverse, and I will reverse to the infancy, to diminish into a sad puddle, or crumpled clothes that smell of old sex and tears.

I swear to be, forever, yours.