|
So Apropos
Saw death on a sunny snowFor every life, forego the parable. Seek the light, my knees are cold. (Running home, running home) Go find another lover; To bring and- to string along. With all your lies, you're still very lovable. I toured the light, so many foreign roads For Emma, forever ago. |
|
|
about art.
Art is what you can get away with.
tagboard
affiliates
bridget.carine. divinia. jieyang. gabby. michelle. monica. muk. patricia. sara. wendy. PLAYLIST twitter
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
oh toodles!
Tonight.Its just the two of us, as it should be. It is a clear night, like glass, when you can see into the next world. Orb like, encasing an orb, and within that is our fragility, hid behind sheets of curtains and storms. Haven. They once called safety a Haven. In your arms, I am safe. You are a collective form, no, an entity of wholeness, that about your resting soul I feel the need to hold you, to be in that cocoon where you dream beyond the underglass. To become vapour, and breathe into your arms, encasing them, be wrapped by them, yet escape into your lungs to be launched into a tidal wave of romantic drama; expelled, embraced, and expelled. The light is cast, as the die, and our world ripples like a passing flood, gushing from our sight and limbs, still entwined. From half-consciousness I breathe the morning, and you, a retreating muse in guise. I dug into my old stuff, and I realized that I wrote this without realizing how I had all the soft sounds, the run on lines etc, and I didn't consciously think: Oh! Lets put some soft consonants and make it sound dreamy. Though in a way you have to admit, this one kind of attempts at other-worldly-ness. Wow. I wonder when I wrote this. Sometimes I wonder what Ms. R would say if she ever saw any of the stuff I wrote. Would she bother to annotate it, analyze its literary features? Oh! Assonance! Alliteration! How the sound and the rhythm make musicality! Maybe if I tell her I found it on the internet and told her that I forgot who wrote it. LOL. It'll be quite cool to get my poems and proses a literary analysis. Or maybe she'll dismiss it as an amateur's work. red red love.
 CJC Choir Senior's Farewell! I. I'm so sorry (and so embarrassed) that I cried. I guess I'm the sentimental fool. I don't like choir practices. But I love you guys. II. I felt bad that I never put in this much effort for our seniors. But I guess we weren't so close. You guys are teh awesomeness. III. Dawn's sister is... ? OMG. IV. A RED BALLOON. I always wanted a red balloon. And I got a red balloon. BUT WHY DO THE NOTES HAVE TO BE INSIDE? V. May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, The rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of his hand. a ranting dance - rant rant rant.
Thought of the day: On the way home, I reflected on the efforts that my wonderful juniors are putting into the farewell tomorrow (!!!!) and I thought back to my seniors in SC, and how much I looked up to them. Suddenly, at that point, I made the link and began to wonder whether anyone had ever looked up to me as a senior. Damn. Look up to me? I'm hardly a good role model, and I've never lived a single day conscious of it. As I rather frivolously and thoughtlessly lived my life as per normal, it hit me that I wouldn't want people to mimic the way I live my life. When my niece grows up, would I want her to follow the same examples that I followed? Or even by the time I plan to have children, would I automatically turn into the best role model? Would I dare to honestly describe my teenage self to my children, for them to take an example from? Or should I justify all my mistakes on the mistakes of others before me, or take responsibility of my actions and take more notice of my life? Shit. All this a month before my 18th. I guess birthdays are more than parties and freedom and celebrating with close friends and family. Responsibilities are beginning to mount upon me, and I guess once you past this point, there's no turning point. No real freedom in anything you do, without a sliver of responsibility. I mean, once our definite goals of PSLE, Olevels, Alevels, University, Job. Then what? Who's going to make these decisions for you? Life is for you to decide how to live. But is that a good thing? I better mug harder. (But first, a nap. I'm exhausted.) Booooo.
An 18th Birthday only comes once. Sigh. Possibly no Anberlin, no time to spend with my friends, no stress-free day, no dinner out with family. Hopefully my day with Spence wouldn't be lost. I wish I could spend it like some of my friends can. Parties, gathering of friends and loved ones. Even a birthday out of stress-free times would be wonderful. why, Alevels? why take our 18th away? ): my niece is watching this Deebo cartoon, which keeps going "Deebo deebo deebo dink."
 Got this from Jason M's tweet, of his and his friend's new tattoos. You can see on his arm, or the arms of others, different ways of expressing the concept of "Be Love". From his Blog: This week, I joined yet another Cult by having the words “Be Love” etched permanently into my forearm. I first saw the words written on the arms of many people in the Café Gratitude community, including author/founder/farmer Matthew and his extraordinary son, Ryland. To say I’m a part of their tribe is true, but I mean to include you when I say, we all are. “Be Love” is a bold declaration. It’s about choosing kindness over being right. It’s about cutting out the conditions in which you might think are required for love and going straight to the source, or rather, being the source yourself, that which is Love, unconditional. That is something I don't mind scratching onto my skin for eternity, that it meaning so much, translates to this doing so little (a little ink on a bit of skin), relative to the actual task of "Being Love". And in comparison to the other "political celebrities", Jason's promoting something bigger in all of us, or even bigger than himself and his popularity. Because, honestly, how many people on this earth really want to "Be Love"? So  The first one is from the Be Love concept, and the second one is a little more from me, adapted from the Eros and Psyche from Greek Mythology (Love and Soul). Of course, the coincidence doesn't hurt the choice much (: There is a blending of the human and divine qualities in love. The opposites (masculinity and femininity, human and divine) merge in mutual love, and experience unification on a profound level which has both depth and conscious awareness. Eros (Love) is contained within Psyche (Soul). I still have no idea where to put it. IF I get one.  (Jason M. Loves.)dash.
I hate wanting your attention so much.These wounds are self inflicted; One more thing I`m addicted too. collected, crisp and contained.
 You loved me 'cause I'm fragile. When I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone. Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me. On chocolate tarts and the meaning of life.
Spending the day without spending a cent.Ok, so we did spend a bit on the chocolate tarts. But those are ALWAYS worth a bit of cash. Mmmmm. Perhaps a few steps before myself, but I guess responsibility is something that oversteps itself at all times, building walls before the foundation becomes stable. As we were thrown into the world, we are, once again. I would say that you are worth a little anxiety, a little stepping out of my pride and my comfort zone. And a little fine tuning? Its inevitable anyway. Life was never the media crap fairytale. The end product without the means. Must, will, can. Should, would, could. What's the difference? HE'S MINE.
Hard to breathe, feels like floatingSo full of love my heart's exploding Mouth is dry, hands are shaking My heart is yours for the taking Acting weird, not myself Dancing round like a keebler elf Finally time for this poor schlump To know how it feels to fall in love. (Because I want to show you off to the world by reposting the poem.) Yes, I remember where this is from (: I love you, my fellow keebler elf. we ride upon an elevating wave.
Its completely ridiculous. These ripples and interruptions, these creases on the surface of an intangible fear - we are numbed into believing its not there, yet we sense, we detect that we have been falsified upon. That in fact, we hang upon a tense thread. The word 'dangle' never felt more precarious. What's the rest of the year going to be like? Oh, and B&J with quality time with Clar is awesome shit. Sorry I'm always so busy and preoccupied. crispy sheets
Life is so jam-packed I haven't gone on msn or blogged in a ton. Wow. Its finally come to this. mid year resolutions
I must: I. Exercise II. Do my work III. Not be lazy IV. Not shop/Save money V. Not be anti-social Vi. Cheer Up. oh, how I crumble into your skin.
Wow. I think the number of SCGS girls I met today is kind of trying to remind me that I need to meet my alma mater soon. And it really shouldn't be a problem, living 5 minutes away from that place.
You sighed and I was lost in you, weeks could've past for all I knew. You were the blanket of the over-world and so I couldn't say, I wouldn't say "no". school blues and woos.
Well I can sum up this week with me trying to be a good student and being scared for my exams (I think most EVERYONE in school would kill me if they find out I'm not happy with my math marks, but I think I learnt that perfectionistic style from Carine). Its like realizing that I could do so much, and I love the fact that I can at least FEEL the exams coming now.But its stressful, its pressurizing and its very very taxing on my body. But I guess that's what they mean by regular studying, kind of keeping the pressure off and the conditioning, kind of like that little voice that speaks in my sleep going: I like studying. If I don't study, I'll become an Epsilon-Minus Semi-Moron. Maybe I'm ignorant and infantile by choice. Its rather hilarious, though, that my body seems to be throwing everything at me possible to give me many excuses to not study (aside from anything that would give me a 7 day MC). But I'm going at it strong! And soon, you'll see, I'll stop complaining and completely disappear in the piles of work. Aside from all that, my life is rather boring. The best things are my friends, that guy who broke that fire alarm, and Shane's now infamous MJ dance and crotch-grabbing (ow!). Oh, and B&J doesn't only cheer up the depressed(: Now, what's motivating me is Sentosa (without that pending tan AGAIN) and time with my old man. Its like renting love for the weekend. She's not so hooked on the drugs like I thought that she was flying on my father's wings.
Not the most conventional video to watch in the morning. But this little snippet from last night's memorial made me cry.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzHJyKkEOHQ gwyneth can sing?
Today's SignificantsI. School has started. A new mugging schedule has been dealt. Deuce. I was so tired I crashed at home for 3 hours. After tuition, I did all the logarithm and exponential questions ever set in 2008 prelims. Life sucks. II. Life doesn't suck. Not with my old man (with his love-handles) and his never ending support, despite my being too busy for him. I'm the luckiest old woman ever. Thank you, pookie, for keeping my nose clean. III. Jason Mraz! Swap lives with me. I want to be hot, talented and living life! (P.S Twitter Rocks. Make It Mine Video rocks. Mraz rocks.) IV. I'm going to be so shitass tired tomorrow. What the hell is shitass? V. Began wondering. When did I start typing "Today's significants"? VI. Transformers may not be the best movie ever made, but quoting it sure is fun when done in the right context. "Is that part of your elaborate ploy to get me to stay?" "Is it working?" "I hate that it is." You know it is, babe. happy youth day
Its eleven and I'm in bed. How idyllic. I must be one of the few crazy people who goes back to bed after breakfast. But I'm lazy, admittingly, rather lazy. I just don't want holidays to end. ):I need some games. I also need to organize ALL my notes. Maybe I'll go file shopping. LOL. What a holiday.  Oh oh oh. I want this hat. Next time I meet that bastard I'm going to cut off his balls personally.
Life of Bejeweled, Optimus Prime and Fear of History Tutorials. Hahaha. How fun fun. Meow.
Busy Busy Day. Things to do. Where to relax?Odd thing I saw on Facebook:  Annie Teh? And the sad thing I saw on Twitter:  ): Why why why do I live in Singapore where nothing happens! (Its so 'Where's Fluffy?') |