walk out the door, leave you on the floor

about art.

Art is what you can get away with.

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post-tuition tired syndrome.

There is a difference between conscious pride and unconscious pride. Unconscious is mostly about the pride of self, the brimming elation from a sweat off a brow, or the feeling of anger when you're not allowed to reach your potential. Its a pride that comes from a realization, or suppression of self. Conscious pride, however, is the creation of a self apart from yourself, an inflation of the metaphorical 'head'.

Tuition, therefore, is a subject of debate on pride for me. My conscious pride against tuition before (ie. "I can handle studies without tuition) is not without cost, time lost, what 5 weeks to midyears. After putting aside that pride to save my grades, my unconscious pride is being realized. I can do this. I have the potential to. And its much, much easier to see.

Hmm. Not bad.

And a little treat: The redefinition of "wearing my boyfriend's shirt"

'nuff said.

I suck at guitar hero, and he owns it ultimately.

What are blog's for?

Blogs are for complaining. I've got alot to complain about tonight. And since complaining girls (especially a soprano) are never a pleasant experience, I decided to deal with it the same way everyone does these day - post it on the internet! Let the world know how miserable you are.

Lol. Ok, I'm not miserable. Just annoyed (as I am very easily annoyed nowadays). Also, since its rather mean of me to focus my annoyance to a specific target (aka whoever pops up on my msn screen), so I shall to it to a general audience.

LIANGS LIST OF COMPLAINTS

1. My Health. I have been subject to sniffing AGAIN for the last few days, and today, while watching inkheart in my living room, I had a sneezing fit, and my soft palate is starting to swell, which sucks because I may be able to talk, but not sing.

And to add onto that, my eye has swelled up again.

So this is what I have done. I went to the kitchen and downed 1000mg of vitamin C (I would take panadol, but I've run out - I wonder why), and I drank water like a camel. I hope my humps are big enough to store them. After which, I went to take a nice, cold shower, and put on what my sister calls my alibaba pants instead of my usual shorts (because they're warmer) and am currently flooding my left eye with eye drops. Hopefully whatever is irritating the stupid thing (and making it so darn itchy) would go away. Tonight, I'm going to do what my dad's been telling me to do constantly. I'm going to wear socks to sleep. And I'm going to put a wet towel next to my bed to keep my air-con room hydrated (because all my friend's mothers tell me it works, and I take mother's advice seriously).

If I take another 1000 mg, will I die?

2. Climbing stairs hurts! Because of that 2.4 I pushed myself for, my legs are sore and aching. As a result, I've been climbing stairs at superslowmotion because I can feel my muscles grit their teeth (metaphorically) as I grit mine (literally).

I don't think I can keep emphasizing how painful it is, because obviously there are worse pains in the world. But its enough for me to be so damn grateful for Spencer, who consciously slows down everytime we reach a flight of stairs (whether up or down) so I can take my time, and being so understanding even though he just ran 9km plus god knows how much static exercises, not to add on the fact that he has soccer tomorrow, which in comparison makes my measley 2.4 just suck, and makes me feel worse about my unfitness. I tried to thank him today, but I think the poor dear couldn't understand why the hell I was thanking him as I wobbled down some stone steps rather afraid (because an experience of falling down stone steps and uncontrollable shaking legs just don't have chemistry), so I gave up and concentrated on my thigh muscles (ahem).

I need to stretch later. If not tomorrow I die.

3.Remedials - where? This is going to sound damn spastic, but here it is. I went alone for remedials this morning, after waking up at 8am - BUT COULDN'T FIND THE FRICKING CLASS. The school was littered with band students and remedials for some Science Stream stuff, and I could not recognize anyone! Feeling like a complete loser for 15 minutes, I decided to go home to try my maths myself. And I don't understand a thingy.

Shucks.

4. No More Finland. STUPID H1N1 VIRUS SHIT GET OUT OF FINLAND SO OUR CHOIR CAN GO AND PERFORM.

Aaaaand that's the gist of it. While there is a relief that my midyear results won't be subject to whatever it is my illness-prone body will get there (see complaint 1) and the whole practice thing, the disappointment of not going to Europe when I thought I would is rather annoying. I guess Finland would have to wait for Singapore's version of the Von Trapp Family and their singing in the hills (if Finland has hills) to come another year. And its definitely not with the CJC family ):

5. I got cheated of my money. Turns out a part of the new belt that I wore today was only stapled on (how they managed to do it I don't know, but they did). When I went to shower, it fell out. I was utterly pissed, and took it out on my skin. Good news, I have silky smooth skin now! Bad news, I have a stapled belt.

Sometimes I don't know how I survive with all my complaining. Still utterly grateful for darling Spence, because anything that happens to me, he gets first brunt of it (yes, in the soprano voice). And he still manages to keep me smiling at the end of the day, by some divine grace. I should find some way to repay him, like surprise him with my newfound skill of giving an actual foot massage (with actual knuckle strength), which I have to acquire one day. Or maybe something I do know how to do, like wax his tummy.

OW. Leg's cramping.

saturday mornings before I'm stuck going to school

I'm so obsessed with this song.

What I want from you is empty your head
They say be true, don't stay in your bed
We do what we need to be free
And it leans on me like a rootless tree

What I want from us is empty our minds
We fake the thoughts, and fracture the times
We go blind when we've needed to see
And this leans on me, like a rootless -

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we've been through
I said leave it,
There's nothing in you
And did you hate me, hate me so good
That you just let me out,
Of this hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out, let me out
Hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out, let me out

What I want from this
Is learn to let go
No not of you
Of all that's been told
Killers re-invent and believe
And this leans on me, like a rootless -

Fuck you,
And all we've been through
I said leave it,
There's nothing in you
And did you hate me, hate me so good
That you can let me out, let me out, let me out
Of this hell when you're around

What I want from you is empty your head
They say be true, don't stay in your bed
We do what we need to be free
And it leans on me like a rootless tree

What I want from us is empty our minds
We fake the thoughts, and fracture the times
We go blind when we've needed to see
And this leans on me, like a rootless...

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we've been through
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
There's nothing in you
And did you hate me, hate me, hate me, hate me so good
That you just let me out, let me out, let me out
Of this hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out, let me out
Hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out, let me out

What I want from this
Is learn to let go
No not of you
Of all that's been told
Killers re-invent and believe
And this leans on me, like a rootless...

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we've been through
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
There's nothing in you
And did you hate me, hate me, hate me, hate me so good
That you just let me out, let me out, let me out
Of this hell when you're around
Let me out, let me out, let me out

a shiny (: out of the ):

Divinia says: (7:44:47 PM)
LIANG
Divinia says: (7:44:47 PM)
=)
Divinia says: (7:44:47 PM)
my dear!
liang | (oooh!) yeah. says: (7:44:55 PM)
haha hey baby (:
liang | (oooh!) yeah. says: (7:45:03 PM)
what's up?
Divinia says: (7:45:15 PM)
HELLO OMGOSH YOU SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I NMISS YOU REALLY
Divinia says: (7:45:28 PM)
I'VE BEEN CONTROLLING MYSELF FROM LIKE DISTUBRING YOU AND EVERYTHING BUT AHHHH

When I thought that everyone in church has long forgotten about me, up pops little Divinia! She adds love into my life, honesty into my obscurity, and colour into my dull day (: The world needs more people like Divinia who shows love to busy people and reminds us that no matter where we are, with her around we're always at home.

Thank you so much. Divinia. You don't know how much you mean to me.

ressentiment

I've moved away to try a little something out. Haha knowing me, I'll be back, but lets give this project a shot.

My bed smells of prawn crackers ):

if you just realize what I've just realized, then we'd be perfect

I. When will you realize that I'm trying to avoid spending as much time as possible here? Its nothing personal, but when it regards a place I'm forced to be in, I'd rather not, honestly. I'd love to spend time with you, but I can't stand your indoctrinations. Realize - I'm my own person. Give it up already.

II. I've been tired, but I've been lucky enough to have people like you around to add life to my world. Thank you, you sexy bitches.

III. I think you're deeper that you let on. That makes you interesting to me.

IV. I don't think any of you realize how out of place I feel. I love you, but I'm just not comfortable. I'd obligingly disappear, and I am 100% certain you all wouldn't miss me. Even if you say you will now.

V. Its gotten to a point where I realize. I can't imagine life without you. Love alone doesn't cover it anymore. I just wish we knew how to communicate better than this. We'd be invincible then.

VI. Who are you? Where has our impenetrable bond gone? I think we've drifted away already. Too fast, too furious (lol). Would you believe, I don't really care anymore?

VII. Fuck You.

Effing sore eye.

How the hell do I keep getting these weird medical problems?

):

shh, they're sleeping.

Isn't it funny how you want to be heard, and you're complaining that no one's listening, yet you're not attempting to be heard?

I think its more understood. I want to talk complete crap now. Or take a sleeping pill (soma) and knockoff.

utter bull

When you have a flu, people avoid you like the plague. You are stuck at home to mull, to sniff and to yawn - but not to sleep. No, if you sleep, you wake up feeling worse. From too much sleep, they say. Wear masks in school, wear masks at home, stay away from your gorgeous niece, no you can't hold her NOW. You haven't been able to hold her since you caught the flu the first time. What's wrong with you?

Slap yourself with water and vitamin C. Get to school now. You need your education.

Don't forget your mask.

I got this from a certain Economics Teacher whose blog is googlable.

1985, 1997, 2009.

They are 3 consecutive year of the ox. (Chinese Zodiac has 12 animals, and 12 years make a cycle).

And they were when Singapore had a recession (Channel News Asia, S'pore must be disciplined, not dip into reserves at first signs of trouble, 1/2/2009)

It is even more interesting when you realise what an Ox is. A castrated bull. Poor thing.

LOL. Utter Bull.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Dajie! (aka Big Sister aka Rebecca)
What's the date today? Its the 7th of May... Haha. In the city that never sleeps.

Goodnight.

kommt vor sein Angesicht mit Frohlocken.

Psalm 100

Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.
Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

Die Net Dem Herrn mit Freuden!

[EDIT]: Ok. post is quite vulgar. So self-censor if necessary, my innocent friends!

"WE'LL GET OUR GOLD BITCHES. KICK THEIR BEEPING ASS. (How funny is that! Their ass is beeping. Or maybe their ass should be singing. Singing asses. We're all singing asses, singing our ass off to get that Gold. How ironic.)"

That was two days ago. Today, when going to VCH to get the results (btw I am so fucking glad I went to VCH to get the results PERSONALLY it felt so much MUCH MUCH better). I was sitting with Mark and Huilun, holding each other's hands DAMN DAMN TIGHT. And I swear that moment went in slow motion. And I know FOR A FACT it happened the same way for all of us there.

"Catholic Junior College.

Gold -"

CHEER.

" - With HONOURS."

OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED FUCK FUCK FUCK.

SCREAMING AND CHEERING AND GRABBING SHIRTS (sorry about the shirt thing mark) and the CRYING OH THE CRYING.

Good Job Choirchoir! (: Our HARD WORK as paid off, and my capslock won't switch OFF. GO SLEEP GO REST YOUR VOICES AND GO GET THOSE GOLD BALLOONS YO.

*does Jauchzet dance*

climbing out of a cramp and dusty hole

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”
- Dale Carnegie

“Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.”
-Anonymous

2 Days to SYF. ???Days to Midyears. And shit knows what else. I could die trying, or laugh dying. But somehow, the latter seems more fun.

WE'LL GET OUR GOLD BITCHES. KICK THEIR BEEPING ASS. (How funny is that! Their ass is beeping. Or maybe their ass should be singing. Singing asses. We're all singing asses, singing our ass off to get that Gold. How ironic.)

Hibernate. Dissipate. Evaporate. Bye bye human beings, (said the spider to the mind.)

[EDIT 20:03]:
To not add another blogpost to this day, and look like a total blog maniac having 3 blogpost in one day (not that I haven't before, but that's besides the point).

How fun is making a shitload of noise in Starbucks on a Sunday? Alot more fun, I'm sure, if it weren't for the fact that we had to annotate literature. But Sara's series of dopplegangers entering the scene was far more amusing that the word amusing gives credit for!

Wolverine was great (I especially liked the sibling thing between Wolverine and Sabretooth, and was so annoyed when Gambit got in the way, but that's my nerd talking)! I think the poor boy next to me must have been so tired of me squealing every time Hugh Jackman came up. And, fine gabby, the butt-naked thing was kinda cool. I'll admit that much. Even as a funny running streaker hiding in a barn, he was effing hot!

Personally, I thought the person who played Kayla Silverfox was rather pretty. I would comment more but I think I'll be giving out spoilers. So lets stick to me thinking she's very pretty. But a character rather overlooked (which I am now blogging so people can pay attention to who he is) is the person playing Agent Zero. At the beginning of the film, I was already rooting for this guy and his super cool shooting action. I just went "Go Cool Asian Guy!" But after I talked to my sister (who told me that he was hot), and googling, I realized that she's right, HE IS DAMN HOT.

His name is Daniel Henney, and he's actually Eurasian (American and Korean), raised in America, and acted in a few Asian Scenes.
Gosh. GORGEOUS.

Sometimes I admit I have a bit too much pride in me to talk about how cute Asian stars are. But I have no shame dig the way this guy looks.

Though there's no way I'm watching Korean Drama's just to see him. Though his main reason for acting in Korean dramas (cause he can hardly speak it) was to track down his mother's (who was adopted by an American Family) biological family in South Korea. That's noble enough to justify why the hell he's going all the way to Korean to act when he can make it in movies like Wolverine in the first place.

5/3/09, 00:06

I am rather sick, and I'm pretty tired. Or maybe I'm just pretty. Or tired. Or tired of being pretty.

Haha liang. Nice attempt at pleasing yourself.

Everything seems tasteless, dull, and meaningless. Tired of putting emotion into anything I do, and am resigned to just go through the day with a few nods and a smile.

But who knows? Maybe I'll get over it.

02/05/09, 07:51

Dripping nose with changing colours, and an aircon room too hot for a quilt?

Sucks to be sick. Especially now.

Hahaha I'm so whiney.